


I've got you

by deepwoundsandfadedscars



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Past Abuse, M/M, Nightmares, PTSD, Platonic Cuddling, Whump, cuddle puddle, the attack is vague but could be perceived as past sexaul assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26100961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepwoundsandfadedscars/pseuds/deepwoundsandfadedscars
Summary: Prompt received on Tumblr: Nicky gets nightmares of the one time he was separated from Joe and assaulted. Even though that was 400 years ago, Joe still holds and comforts him now.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 15
Kudos: 375





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the person who sent me this prompt, I hope it’s ok that I left the assault kinda vague and focused more on the comfort part

Faceless figures all around him, disembodied hands clawing from the darkness. He couldn’t see anything solid, but he knew they were there, he knew they were there for him. He turned and ran, or rather, tried to run. A hand around his ankle, nails like claws digging into his skin, dragging him back. His feet still moved but he felt like he was trying to run through mud. Another hand, around his knee this time, and then another and another, hands on his arms, fingers too long and too pale, horrifying in every way raking across his back leaving deep furrows in his skin. One of them latched onto his shoulder, and another across his throat, squeezing until it felt like it would rip out his throat. 

A weight landed on his back, dislodging the hand from his throat, and long spindly arms clamped around him like a vice, pinning his arms to his sides. He fought so hard, trying to throw it off, until it dragged him to the ground screaming.

~~~ 

Joe woke slowly, not really sure what roused him. If they were in danger, he knew Nicky would’ve been the first to wake, gun already in hand no doubt, but he could still feel the warmth of his love pressed to his chest. He hugged him a little closer, nuzzling his nose into the back of NIcky’s thin t-shirt. 

Nicky flinched, his whole body tensing and made a high keening noise. Joe lifted himself up onto his elbow, looking down at Nicky as he placed a hand upon his chest. “Nicolo?”

Nicky flailed his arms at the pressure, raising his arms in a harsh and well practiced move to get an enemies hands off of him, a move meant to give distance so he could land a hit. Joe threw himself backwards and out of Nicky’s reach as he writhed onto his back and threw a blind punch. When the hit didn’t land, he shuffled back and off the edge of the bed, scooting backwards until he hit the door of the closet, pulling his knees to his chest. His eyes were clenched tight and his hands curled into fists pressed to either side of his head. 

“Nicolo!” Joe carefully slipped off the bed, staying on Nicky’s level and making sure to keep his distance. “Nicolo, _wake up. Wake up, my love._ ”

Nicky dropped his head, pressing his forehead to his knees and locking his fingers behind his head. His hands turned white with how tightly he was squeezing his own head, his whole body trembling.

Joe sat on the floor with his back against the bed, he wanted to hold Nicky, to reassure him, but he knew that wouldn’t help. Not right now. Instead he stayed back, crossing his legs and pulling a blanket from the bed down into his lap. He hummed quietly, plucking at some loose threads on the blanket. Eventually the humming turned into quiet singing, a simple song in Italian that Nicky taught him centuries ago when Joe was just starting to learn Nicky’s language. It was silly, a song meant for children, but the memories it brought up whenever he sang it were happy ones. Unlike the ones his Nicolo was suffering through right then.

He knew where Nicky’s mind went when he had one of these episodes. Four hundred years on and it still found him. Joe remembered that horrible night too well. He didn’t see what happened, he didn’t want to, but finding Nicky broken and bleeding and only just starting to heal had felt like something inside of him had snapped. He didn’t sleep for the rest of the week, never letting Nicky out of his sight until Nicky demanded he get some sleep before he dropped dead. He tried to convince Joe that he was fine, and Joe almost believed him until the nightmares started.

It was the same dream every time, with the occasional differences. Sometimes he couldn’t move at all, at the mercy of the hands. Sometimes the blank figures had faces, warped and grotesque in a way that couldn’t be called human. Nicky described them with such detail that once Joe attempted to sketch what he pictured, but what came out his own imagination disturbed him so much that he ripped the page out and burned it before Nicky could see it. 

He looked up from the blanket, looking Nicky over. His eyes were open now, unfocused but staring vaguely at the floor somewhere between them. One hand still tangled in his hair and the other rubbed his throat. _Ah,_ Joe thought to himself, _that version._ It had been a while since he had that one. 

“ _Are you back, my love?_ ”

Nicky nodded, rubbing his eyes with his fingertips and just sat with his fingers over his eyes for a moment. Joe started humming again and it seemed to spur Nicky into action, lunging across the room and tackling Joe around the waist, his arms tight around his back and his face buried in Joe’s stomach. Joe gasped in surprise, the sudden need for contact not entirely unexpected, Nicky always sought him out eventually, but tonight it came sooner than usual.

He ran one hand through Nicky’s hair, the other absentmindedly drawing patterns on his shoulders as he continued to hum.

He made it through three more verses of the song, Nicky slowly relaxing in his lap with each one, before Nicky finally turned his face so he wasn’t nearly suffocating himself with Joe’s shirt. His arms were almost lax around Joe’s waist. Joe’s legs were pins and needles from being cross legged while supporting Nicky’s weight, but he would never complain, he would do it for eternity if that is what it took for Nicky to feel safe, for him to never suffer another nightmare. 

Eventually Nicky rolled off on his own, tiredly reaching for Joe, who slid down onto the scratchy carpet so they lay on their sides facing each other. Joe put his arm under Nicky’s head, but Nicky dove right in, tucking his head under Joe’s chin so his face was pressed to Joe’s chest. Joe wrapped his arms around Nicky, drawing him close in a way that anyone else might find stifling, but he knew Nicky needed it. The warmth and the pressure and the love were grounding for him.

They lay like that for several minutes in silence, until Joe notices Nicky is starting to tremble again and he feels a choked sob against his shirt where a damp spot is starting to spread. Joe tries to pull back so he can look at Nicky, but he hides his face in his hand that was awkwardly pinned between them so all Joe can do is press kisses to the top of his head, interspersing them with quiet reassurances.

“Hey, I have you, it’s ok. _I’m here, Nicolo, you’re safe._ ”

Nicky wiped his hand over his eyes, trying to banish the tears. He tilts his head back, pressing a kiss to Joe’s jaw.

“ _I know this._ ” He kisses a trail down Joe’s neck until he’s pressed to Joe’s chest again and throws his leg over Joe’s hip. “ _I know this, and I love you. Never leave me._ ”

“ _Never._ ”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is zero explanation why all five of them are together and fine with each other, just turn off that part of your brain and enjoy <3

It was still dark outside when Joe awoke. From his spot on the floor, he could see straight out the bedroom window, where the sky twinkled with stars and the last sliver of the waning moon slid behind a cloud. He couldn’t see the clock on the nightstand from there, but he knew it was late- or early depending on how one looked at it. There were probably still a couple hours until the sun rose.

The slightest brush of breath on his throat brought his attention to the body encapsulated in his arms, squeezing Nicky tightly to his chest. Nicky pressed a kiss to Joe’s throat, wiggling one of his hands up from where it had been trapped between their bodies to tangle in the collar of Joe’s shirt. A slight tug conveyed his desire and Joe tilted his head down to meet him for a kiss on the lips. Joe pulled away first, tracing the tip of his nose across Nicky’s, up his bridge so he could plant a kiss on Nicky’s forehead. 

“Did you sleep at all, _my love_?” he whispered against his skin before placing another kiss. He could feel a subtle shake of Nicky’s head against his lips, which- while disappointing- did not surprise him. “How about some tea then? I’m beginning to feel my age lying on this floor.”

Nicky nodded, though he seemed reluctant to get up as Joe pushed himself to his feet and extended his hands to Nicky. “Oh, _my love_ , your hands are so cold,” Joe commented as they touched. Nicky smirked, squeezing Joe’s tightly.

“ _I could say the same for you,_ ” Nicky muttered, “ _Are we sure your heart still beats?_ ” 

“For you, _my love_ , always.” Joe grabbed the blanket off the floor and draped it over Nicky’s shoulders, tugging it tight around him and planting another kiss on his cheek before leading him towards the kitchen. 

Booker and Andy were already there, seated at the table with mugs and a bottle or two of alcohol between them. Their quiet conversation ceased and they looked up as the couple entered, the two pairings looking for any obvious signs why the other would be awake. Joe looked to Andy, who was already looking at him, and gave a pointed look at Nicky and then back to Andy, looking her in the eye as he tilted his head down. She nodded in understanding, and nudged Booker as she pushed her seat back. 

“Booker, could you reheat the kettle?” Andy asked as she moved around the table towards Nicky. Booker raised an eyebrow at her back as she placed a hand on the back of Nicky’s neck, ducking her head to look him in the eye. Joe could see Nicky seemed to have retreated even further into himself again, as though he were embarrassed that either of them would see him like this, even though they had been here for him dozens of times and never once judged him for it. Joe stepped away as Andy took his place, moving to the cupboard to pull out some mugs as Andy spoke quietly to Nicky, guiding him towards the couch in the living room. 

It took a moment for the kettle to start threatening to whistle obnoxiously again.Booker removed it quickly, before it could really get going and Joe shoved the teapot, with bags already in it, towards him. Joe hooked his fingers through the handles of the mugs and carried them to the living room. Booker followed behind with the teapot and took a short detour to snatch his flask off the dining table. 

Nicky was bundled in the blanket still, sitting sideways on the couch with his feet tucked under Andy’s thigh. Andy’s arm lay across the back of the couch, her hand lazily playing with Nicky’s hair. His eyes were closed, his hands bunched in the blanket and covering the bottom half of his face as he leaned into the comforting touch. Booker set the teapot down on the coffee table and picked up one of the mugs Joe had set down there before giving Nicky a nudge on the shoulder to get his attention. Nicky warily blinked his eyes open, looking up at Booker, who extended the flask and the mug towards him, wordlessly asking which drink he preferred tonight. Nicky looked between the two, silently trying to decide which he would go for. After a few seconds, Booker made the choice for him and poured a generous helping from his flask into the mug and then topped it up with hot tea. Nicky grinned and extracted his hands from the blanket to take the warm mug. 

“ _Merde_ , Nicky, your hands!” Booker cursed as their hands touched around the mug. Instead of handing it over, he took the mug out of Nicky’s reach again and set it on the coffee table, choosing instead to kneel on the ground in front of Nicky. He pancaked Nicky’s hands between his own. Nicky gave him a small smile, relaxing back into the couch and enjoying the warmth. He and Joe both had problems keeping their extremities warm, especially in colder climates like they currently were, so different from the Mediterranean warmth they both grew up in. None of the rest of the team ever had the same problem, heat pouring off of them just as efficiently as space heaters.

Joe nudged Nicky’s shoulder so he would lean forward, allowing Joe to slot himself in between Nicky and the armrest of the couch. 

“Thank you, Booker,” Nicky said, his voice barely a whisper as he settled back against Joe’s chest, his eyes falling closed again. Booker could already feel some warmth in Nicky’s fingers again and gave them a vigorous rub before releasing them and then quickly placed the mug back into Nicky’s hands. Nicky opened his eyes and smiled at Booker, wrapping both hands around the mug and inhaling the sweet smell of chamomile.

“If I turn on a game, do you promise not to stab me when my team wins?” Booker gruffed with a tease as he took his mug and flask to the leather chair next to the couch that everyone had started to recognize as ‘his’.

Nicky grinned mischievously over his mug. “You are so confident.” He made a point of looking around the room, as though looking for something, before his eyes settled on his sword, in its scabbard and leaning against the wall near the hallway to the bedrooms and sighed. “I feel it would be too much effort, but anger is a powerful motivator. I make no promises, but I’ll try.”

The TV clicked on, already on the sports channel from earlier in the day, and the room was filled with the voice of the commentators, the team falling into companionable silence apart from the occasional comment from Booker or Joe. 

Andy sat in silence, rubbing her hand up and down Nicky’s leg and drinking her tea. His feet were still under her thigh, no longer feeling like chunks of ice but toasty warm now. She was only half watching the game, and half watching Nicky. For a while he stared at the TV, making subtle faces when either of the teams would score a goal. She could see a shift in his face though. His eyes unfocused and slid to the side, staring out the window and into the dark of night. She knew that look, sleep was tugging at him and he was too tired to fight it. She watched until his hand went limp as his eyes slid shut and she caught the now empty mug before it could hit the floor. Joe startled at the movement, looking between her and down at Nicky with a panicked look in his eyes until he saw that Nicky’s eyes were closed now.

“Should he be sleeping so soon after a nightmare?” Andy whispered, her voice barely heard over the TV. Booker glanced over, seeing Nicky asleep he picked up the remote and turned down the volume so only the loudest of cheers were barely audible.

Joe opened his mouth and was just about to answer as Nile walked into the living room, rubbing one eye with the side of her closed fist as she looked blearily at them all with the other. “Is everything ok? Why’s everyone up at—” She squinted at the clock on the stove in the kitchen “—3:30 in the morning?”

“Just one of those nights, we all had trouble sleeping,” Andy said, her attention drawn back to Nicky as she felt his foot flex under her leg. She put her hand on his knee, gently patting him. “Come sit.”

Nile looked around, noting with the four person couch occupied by Andy, Joe, and a sleeping Nicky, and Booker in his usual seat, there wasn’t space for her. With a huff, she pulled one of the threadbare couch pillows out from under Andy’s arm and dropped it on the floor, flopping onto it and leaning her head against the couch next to Andy’s leg, Nicky just behind her. “Clearly Nicky isn’t having any trouble sleeping,” she commented. 

Andy, Joe, and Booker all shared a look, none of them really knowing what to say to that nor wanting to be the one to explain it with Nicky sleeping right there. 

In the end, they didn’t have to say anything as Nicky slipped into another nightmare. Andy felt it coming, feeling his legs tense under her hand and his feet under her thigh and she slipped off the couch and onto the floor next to Nile just as his legs spasmed, kicking out to escape the weight that was already missing. He gave a keening whine as he thrashed on the couch, his arms pushing away the blanket restraining them as his movements shifted him off of Joe’s chest so his head rested in his lap.

“Hey hey, Nicky, hey,” Joe said, leaning over him, his hands flitting around, unsure of what to do. He lightly stroked Nicky’s cheek, which he recoiled from, so he tried touching his arms, catching his wrist gentle enough that Nicky was able to yank his arm out of his grip again. None of his touches were welcomed, Nicky only fought against them.

Andy shifted away from the couch, pushing the coffee table away so there was more space and took Nile’s hand, gently tugging her away too. Nile tore her eyes away from Nicky, staring at Andy with big eyes, the confusion and a hint of fear evident on her face in the quirk of her eyebrow. Andy shook her head, a clear sign that now was not the time for questions.

“Yusuf-” A strangled cry ripped from Nicky’s throat as his head tossed back and forth on Joe’s leg.

“ _I’m here, my love, wake up-_ ” 

Nicky shot upright, his chest heaving as he gasped for air. His eyes were wide, searching the room in a panic. His hands clutched at the cushions of the couch, as though his grip was all that kept him tethered to the planet. His eyes finally found Andy and his fear turned to anguish, his eyes starting to water and his shoulders sagging. He looked to Nile and then Booker in the chair across from him and his eyes widened, panic creeping in again. “Joe?”

“ _I’m here, my love_ ,” Joe whispered from behind him, raising his hand to rest on Nicky’s shoulder. Nicky whirled around, diving into Joe’s arms and burying his face in Joe’s shirt, as Joe wrapped his arms around Nicky, holding him tight. He moved a hand to the back of Nicky’s head, running his hands through his hair as he felt Nicky crying into his shirt again. Oh how he wished he could steal the pain away, to banish the nightmares forever. 

A few minutes passed before Joe felt Nicky properly relax in his arms. The trembles in his body ceased, and then another few minutes later Nicky leaned back far enough to whisper out Andy’s name without being completely inaudible. He reached out with one arm, vaguely in the direction Andy had been sitting and she came to kneel next to the couch, taking his hand in hers. 

“Booker?” she said, keeping her voice low and quiet. Booker looked up, watching as she nodded her head towards the bedrooms and subtly lifted the corner of the blanket that Nicky had fallen asleep wrapped in. Booker nodded and stood, gesturing for Nile to follow him. 

Nile glanced back as she scrambled to her feet and followed him. “What are we doing? What’s going on, is Nicky ok?”

Booker sighed as he yanked the blanket off Andy’s bed and then Nile’s, dumping them in her arms before grabbing pillows from each bed and then moving into Joe and Nicky’s room to strip their bed as well. 

“It’s not my place to tell the story, I wasn’t even around yet when it happened, four hundred years ago, but Nicky preferred to tell me rather than let Andy and Joe do it.” Booker added another blanket to Nile’s pile and shoved two more pillows under his arm and headed to the back room where his cot was set up. “Now that you’ve seen how he gets though, he will tell you soon.” He grabbed the last set of blankets and pillows and turned to Nile. “For now, all you need to know is that he needs to feel safe and that he can remove himself from the situation on his terms.”

Even without specifics, Booker could see the pieces slot into place in Niles brain and her mouth snapped shut as she realized what he was implying, her eyes narrowing and the muscles on the side of her jaw bulged as she clenched her teeth together. Her eyes dropped and she stared at the pile of blankets in her arms, giving a short nod. “I get it.”

Booker tipped his head towards the hallway and she backed out of the room, shuffling the blankets around in her arms to get some of the stray corners that were dragging on the ground under control again as Booker shut the door behind them and followed her back to the living room. 

Andy was sitting on the floor still, her chin resting against Joe’s knee so she was face to face with Nicky, speaking quietly to him as she ran a hand through his hair while Joe rubbed slow circles on his back. Nicky was staring intently at her, hanging onto every word.

Booker dropped the pile of pillows and unfurled his blanket, spreading it on the floor before taking another from Nile and laying it over top and then laying out the pillows next to each other along the bottom of the couch. 

“Do you want to lay down with us?” Andy asked.

Nicky didn’t say anything, only nodded as he sat up and tangled his fingers with Joe’s, keeping him close to his side as they lay down in the middle of the blanket. Nile hadn’t noticed until now that Booker had intentionally placed the pillows in a specific order, the covers were all mismatched and different colors so it was easy to recognize Nicky’s green pillow and Joe’s blue one were in the middle of the arrangement, with Booker’s next to Joe’s and Andy’s in between Nicky and Nile on the outside edge. 

Nicky and Joe settled in, taking a moment for Nicky to decide how he would like to be positioned before he turned over and put his back to Joe, slotting in perfectly against him like they had so many times before. Booker spread another blanket over top of them and grabbed the blanket Nicky had been wrapped in and lay down next to Joe with it, draping half of it over Joe so that he had a double layer and snuggling up behind him, being the bigger spoon of the trio.

Andy reached out for Nile, placing her hand on the younger woman’s arm and asked, “are you ok with this?” 

“Hmm?” Nile questioned, looking at Andy and then down at the trio of men lying together on a pile of blankets and pillows. Nicky was watching her, his fingers idly rubbing over Joe’s hand on his chest. He seemed cautious, as though worried she might judge the group of them for being so comfortable together, or even just him for needing this, but she could see just how much having Booker and Andy being so casually intimate and gentle helped and her heart swelled with the need to be involved, to build that trust with him, with all of them. She nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

Andy gave her a smile and guided her to the impromptu bed, where she settled in on her back next to Nicky, sliding close enough that Nicky could use her shoulder as a pillow if he pleased and offering the space under her other arm to Nile, who gleefully took it. Nile spread the last blanket over her and Andy, and mostly over Nicky. 

He was well and truly cocooned in the middle of his team, safe and warm. He sighed contentedly, pressing his forehead to Andy’s shoulder. There was some wiggling under the blankets and Nile partially sat up, concerned he already wanted out, maybe he felt too stifled, but an exploring hand under the blanket found her arm, long (and cold, geez) fingers brushing against her. She looked over at Nicky and saw his eyes were open, watching her again. She met his hand with her own, their fingers slotting together and resting on Andy’s hip. 

“Thank you, Nile,” Nicky said, his voice quiet as ever. “And everyone.”

“We’re here for you, buddy,” Booker said, softly patting Nicky on his ribs, the only part he could reach around Joe. “ _Merde,_ Joe, you too?” Booker cursed. Nile looked over, seeing Joe had interlocked his own icy fingers with Bookers and was grinning mischievously. “You two are awful.”

“You think my hands are bad, you should feel my feet.” There was rustling under the blanket as Joe tried to get his bare feet against Booker’s leg that ended with an annoyed whine as he met impenetrable jeans and socked feet.

“Jokes on you, I’m not actually dressed for bed.” 

“And why is that? Were you planning on running off again?” Andy asked.

“No, not really. Just wanted to get some stuff.”

“At 3 in the morning?” 

“Wasn’t necessarily going to be purchasing said stuff.”

“Booker-” A chorus of voices filled the room, varying tones of indignation and annoyance, before he cut them off again.

“Oh come on, I thought we could have a bit of a celebration, I bet none of you even know what day it is today.”

The other four all furrowed their brows, thinking. They had been taking some time off, distancing themselves for a bit, so time outside of night and day had kind of lost their meaning. It was December when they decided to get away, they knew that much.

“It’s new years.” Nile finally realized. 

“Today?” Andy asked, sceptical. 

Nile sat up, grabbing a cell phone off the table. Asides from hers and the family photos it contained, none of the others felt the need to be possessive about a phone. She thumbed the button to wake up the screen and confirmed that yes, it was January 1st and 3:47 in the morning.

“Wow, happy new year, I guess.”

“And there goes another,” Joe hummed, rubbing his nose against the back of Nicky’s neck.

“Not the best way we have ever spent the ringing in of the new year,” Nicky muttered.

“What’s not to love about having a cuddle puddle on the floor with your family?” Andy asked, squeezing his hand under the blanket.

“What has been your favorite, Nicky?” Nile asked, sitting up but keeping her hand tangled with his.

Nicky thought for a bit, chewing the inside of his cheek as his eyes unfocused. “1946.”

Joe and Booker both screwed up their faces in confusion, trying to remember what was special about that year while Andy’s broke into a grin, remembering exactly what he was talking about.

“What happened then, _my love_?” 

Nicky chuckled, bumping his head against Andy’s shoulder as she also started laughing. “1946, Southern France. Andy and I had to rescue these two, we found them chained to each other in the back of a van and they would not stop arguing over who’s fault it was, so Andy left them chained together for the rest of the year.”

Joe and Booker both groaned as Andy cackled maniacally, while Nile raised her eyebrows, not sure if she should be shocked or laugh along with them. 

“The rest of the year?! How long was that?”

“It was only twenty minutes, but they didn’t know what day it was, so hearing me threaten them with ‘the rest of the year’ seemed like a lifetime punishment.”

“I could have sworn it was mid-November, not my fault I lost track of time while these two took so long to find us,” Booker huffed. He never let go of Joe though, if anything he hugged him a little tighter.

“Who was it? How did they get you?” Nile asked. 

There would be no more sleep that night, only stories and laughter shared between their odd little family. 


End file.
